Alone Again...ABSOLUTELY!!!

Many of you are probably reading this and asking whether or not I am serious about being happily alone. The truth is... I am. There is nothing like the peace of mind that comes with only being responsible and accountable for oneself. I will not lie and tell you that it doesn't get lonely, because it definitely does have its moments. I have found myself many a night drinking wine straight from the bottle, in my darkened apartment, listening to LL Cool J's "I Need Love" all while hanging half off my couch in my own pity. The upside to that feeling of loneliness is that it is temporary. The sun will rise and sure as shit I will have another day to make things happen for myself or at least try to meet someone new. I just have to change my frame of mind and be realistic about the situation.

At some point we have all sat and wondered why we are single or alone in general. The harsh reality is that either you or someone you were involved with felt that the relationship or friendship was no longer worth the effort and you or they needed time to get things together. That's right! We are not as fantastic as we think, they are not as stupid as we believe and the situation is no longer working for one or all parties involved. I personally have been on both ends of the spectrum and can attest to it being harder to hear rather than say that a relationship/friendship is ending. Be it as it may, we are alone again....absolutely. 

So, now that we are back here ...again. We are faced with the task of finding something to do with all this free time that will not cause us to be self destructive . I chose to get to know myself and change the things that needed to be changed. As a matter of fact, I am 3 years into this period of change. That's right, I threw a very thorough and drawn out pity party and then began to process who I was and what I wanted out of life. This is hard to do if you are focused on a man/woman/friend who already doesn't like what you are about. I know,...I know...many of you don't like being alone. Well, if you don't like being with yourself; what in the world makes you think someone else wants to be in your company?!? Many people avoid reflecting on the who, what, why, where and how's post split or life changing event. It's the biggest mistake one can ever make, trust me. You have to process the nonsense, come to terms with it and devise a plan to be better. It is only then can you appreciate your journey and where it is taking you. I've had friends and lovers walk out of my life because they saw something in me that didn't quite jive with what their lives were about. I have also hauled ass out of a relationship because there were things that didn't sit well with what I thought was right for my vida loca. It happens and it isn't the end of the world. It's an opportunity to be the best YOU possible. 

Too many of us get stuck in this mindset of having to be in a relationship or having people around. That my dear friends is a sad way to live and usually results in lack of creativity, motivation and progress. The only relationship you need is the one you're in with yourself and the only company you  need to be happy in is your own. We have to learn to appreciate ourselves, our imperfections and our growth. You can't do that if you are too busy being in denial or trying to find the next big thing to distract you from your full potential. You will be a better friend, partner and lover for having  invested  in yourself and your purpose.

Taking a look in the mirror isn't always easy, but at some point you're going to have to love the person looking back at you.

Loving the new you already,

Mia

http://www.thatartista.com